I've noticed for awhile, and I'm not sure if anyone else has, but John Cena has become Jim from the Office, in all seriousness. He's dropped his more "urban" gimmick (probably because that's what Vince calls it) in lieu of super-witty, good-looking, friendly, beloved smart-ass guy. It's annoying and it's schlock, but I'm not going to rant on Cena, it's been done by so many others and it won't change the fact that Vince is going to continue pushing him to no end because the kids and the ladies love him. So be it. I will however, complain about David Otunga, by far the least talented member of the Nexus. He makes Cena look like Dean Malenko. We were stunned last night when Otunga performed TWO actual wrestling moves. I understand Cena getting pushed, despite my dislike of him, because it's not about putting on a credible wrestling show anymore, it's about presenting a marketable product, and Cena is rife for that. The little kids and the women just can't get enough of him. Otunga, on the other hand, has minimal charisma and talent, yet he keeps getting ample tv time every monday (now fridays, too). Yeah, thanks, Vince, put Otunga all over Raw, but where was CM Punk?
The show seems to be solely for the little kids or the women who like John Cena so much now. I have no disrespect for Cena personally, but his character is atrocious and embarrassing to real fans and it's really really sad to see him getting CONSTANTLY pushed while other, more talented guys languish in the midcard or are subject to utterly stupid storylines (Chavo and Hornswoggle feuding for 3 months being a prime example of this inane bullshit).
And for the past year or so, it seems like WWE will have a good idea going, then it will end inexplicably. CM Punk has been, in my opinion, the best thing the company's had going. His feud with Jeff Hardy was fucking brilliant (as was the Hardy vs Hardy feud that proceeded it). The Straight Edge Society, I thought, would've actually brought back the idea of stables in wrestling, and thus creativity and an interesting show.
Two weeks ago, there was an interesting moment two weeks ago on Raw when Punk came out to announce during Daniel Bryan's match. After Bryan won, Punk congratulated him and signaled to me that they would either be feuding or allying soon, which would be awesome. Two former Ring of Honor champs and two of the best talents they have actually being USED properly. Alas, no Punk last week on Raw. Hopefully Vince doesn't kill this one, as it would be AWESOME to see these two have an exciting, credible wrestling match as they used to in ROH.
Then again, I shouldn't hope too much for a story that I will find personally engaging. Mr. McMahon knows what we want to see and he will do things his way. But no matter how bad it really gets, I'll keep watching. A entity this large in its decline is just fascinating and I just want to see if the ship will sink or if they can actually fix it up and make it work again without destroying it.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Part 2
Monday Night RAW
October 18, 2010
Eschewing a drawn-out intro, I must start by saying this episode truly confirmed for me that pro-wrestling's status isn't merely on the decline, it's on the demise. Let's face it, WWE, by and large has sucked for the past few years (ahem, since the whole Benoit ordeal). There have certainly been some great moments, some excellent talents who have created memorable and exciting performances, but the end result has continuously been disappointment, for not just the audience, but the growing number of WWE ex-pats who seem to agree that the company is going in the wrong direction.
At about 3/4 in to an exceedingly boring show, the screen went black and then appeared the usual TV-PG logo, but this time, filling the entire screen. What followed was a painful and almost nauseating promo of self-serving, idealistic, and completely shameless self-promotion as "wholesome family entertainment" and with patriotism to match. I've seen a lot of senseless nonsense put forth in the WWE, but this was simply outlandish in its disingenuous presentation. Then the show ends with an impromptu battle royale between the RAW and Smackdown rosters. You can't tell what's going on, Hornswoggle (the midget who can't talk) took over Michael Cole's spot so we are treated to gibberish for commentary and gibberish for action in the ring. Next to nothing enjoyable about watching this one.
Which brings me to Michael Cole, the one and only. It was this idea that actually first got me writing on wrestling. I've noticed as the quality of the show as a whole has gone down over the past few years, the Michael Cole's character has gotten exponentially more entertaining and interesting. He has had some brilliant spots recently, including the 10th anniversary of Smackdown where people kept feeding him drinks and he just kept eating shrimp cocktail and rambling on about all things vintage, then topped off with Cole vomiting all over Chris Jericho's shoes. Who could forget his outlandish performance at the last Slammy's when he proclaimed the "slobberknocker" era over and the era of "vintage" just beginning. And how right he was as Cole seems to get more prominent as the weeks ensue.
Since 97 when Cole debuted (am I the only one who was under the impression he was Todd Pettengill's son?) he has been the constant target of wrestlers' natural aversion to twerps. And Cole played so well the role of being an annoying little punk just ripe for mockery and humiliation. And I'll be damned if he hasn't played it all off like a pro. And now in these watered-down, TV-PG, "oh my gosh" days in which we find ourselves, Cole can really shine. His hatred of Daniel Bryan Danielson since he started in NXT earlier this year has been nothing short of hilarious. He rags on Bryan for being a vegan, being a tool and not having any of the necessary charisma befitting of a world-class wrestler (which he really is btw). What just about killed me was on the newest season of NXT was when Cole brought a gong that he could hit whenever the show's content dipped below his standards. He did not hesitate to call out the substandard show. Most of the time, he wouldn't even maintain a sense of humor about; he genuinely sounded like he was disgusted with the show, which anyone watching at home surely was too. At one point, he finally had it with the show and went off on a tirade about his "journalistic integrity" being offended, as he was indeed a war correspondent (I really can't picture it), and that was enough for him to walk off the show and be replaced by CM Punk, wearing his ring garb and a suit jacket, looking mighty ridiculous. I think to many people's chagrin, Cole returned at the end, withstood the boos to be welcomed back with honor by Punk, who praised his announcing skills as legendary. If you look closely or if you were able to withstand the utter bullshit of the current NXT, there was some profound and telling moments here about the state of the business: the "entertainment" is just schlock they're shuffling around to fill in TV time on this pointless auxiliary show, real talent gets buried and misused on the proper shows, PPV's are an expensive letdown (plenty on that later on), but now I look forward to Michael fucking Cole's antics on every Monday and Friday.
But like I said, the business has most likely breached the point of no return. It'll never be the Attitude Era ever again. So many fans cry for a return to the old ways, not realizing that what made that time so great, was that it didn't follow tradition; Vince was constantly pushing the envelope for new and exciting storylines, that further distanced the WWF from wrestling's corny past. It worked back then, for there was so much freedom for them on television with none of the modern day scrutiny common in all athletics, namely to protect the children, because their parents are too busy. It's my opinion that Vince has been losing his mind for the past few years and has lost his logical perspective on how to create a solid wrestling show. The way the man has worked over the years must have eroded his reasoning. He's been responsible for a brand new Monday Night Raw every Monday since January 11, 1993, a new Smackdown every weeks since August 26, 1999, a new Pay-Per-View every month, and a host of so many other come-and-go programs like Superstars, Sunday Night Heat, Shotgun Saturday Night, the now defunct ECW, etc. That kind of insanely stressful schedule would wear down anyone's mind. Considering all that the company's been through, it'll never be the same, it'll never be Stone Cold and the Rock ever again. And I accept that, unlike most fans who think they want to see the same shit over and over again. Vince and his team, however, are convinced that they know how to make a sellable show, and don't really care what the fans think they want. This disparity allows for a crap show and a crap audience. Which brings me to my next point.
TNA is still trying to rehash old ECW, a company that went under almost a decade ago, in addition to keeping washed-up embarrassments like Hogan and Flair in the spotlight, people so desperate to not be forgotten, while all the talent in their prime takes a backseat to assholes like that. If anyone recalls, World Championship Wrestling, one of the biggest, most lucrative promotions of all time, collapsed primarily because of 3 people, whom I affectionately refer to as the Trifecta of Jagoffs: Hulk Hogan, Vince Russo, and Eric Bischoff. Who's running TNA now? Hogan, Bischoff, and Russo. Writing's all over the wall, yet they still are responsible for the lives and careers of so many. I can barely watch the show; I have friends with stronger stomachs who fill me on the spots nowadays. I always thank them for saving me the pain of sitting through Impact.
I've tried, I've really tried to like TNA over the years, and I just can't do it. First off, without a decent announce team, the talent is irrelevant. Mike Tenay and Don West? Really? The only positive thing I can say about that team is that at least Tony Schiavone isn't on it. But TNA in their infinite wisdom, brought in one of the absolute worst color-commentators in the business: Tazz. I will certainly never disrespect Tazz's legacy as a wrestler, one of the best. Tazz in mid-90's ECW was one of the meanest, most impressive guys out there. His suplexes were downright brutal as was his vicious chokehold that people in the ECW Arena would lose their minds for. Then came all the neck injuries, forcing him to retire to the announce table, a place where he unfortunately didn't belong, and a position he never quite adjusted to. He's terrible on TNA, like Tenay wasn't bad enough. And that's just the tip of the iceberg with this promotion, but others have gone on at length about the details of their sub-par programming. They did one smart thing, though, by firing Jim Cornette. I don't say that because I hate him, he's one of my all-time favorite personalities in the business and I truly believe he needs his own talk-show on national TV, but I digress. He's now in Ring of Honor, which I really hope will breakthrough to the mainstream without diluting their product, and I think with Mr. Cornette's genius as executive producer, there just might be a legitimate reason to think so.
October 18, 2010
Eschewing a drawn-out intro, I must start by saying this episode truly confirmed for me that pro-wrestling's status isn't merely on the decline, it's on the demise. Let's face it, WWE, by and large has sucked for the past few years (ahem, since the whole Benoit ordeal). There have certainly been some great moments, some excellent talents who have created memorable and exciting performances, but the end result has continuously been disappointment, for not just the audience, but the growing number of WWE ex-pats who seem to agree that the company is going in the wrong direction.
At about 3/4 in to an exceedingly boring show, the screen went black and then appeared the usual TV-PG logo, but this time, filling the entire screen. What followed was a painful and almost nauseating promo of self-serving, idealistic, and completely shameless self-promotion as "wholesome family entertainment" and with patriotism to match. I've seen a lot of senseless nonsense put forth in the WWE, but this was simply outlandish in its disingenuous presentation. Then the show ends with an impromptu battle royale between the RAW and Smackdown rosters. You can't tell what's going on, Hornswoggle (the midget who can't talk) took over Michael Cole's spot so we are treated to gibberish for commentary and gibberish for action in the ring. Next to nothing enjoyable about watching this one.
Which brings me to Michael Cole, the one and only. It was this idea that actually first got me writing on wrestling. I've noticed as the quality of the show as a whole has gone down over the past few years, the Michael Cole's character has gotten exponentially more entertaining and interesting. He has had some brilliant spots recently, including the 10th anniversary of Smackdown where people kept feeding him drinks and he just kept eating shrimp cocktail and rambling on about all things vintage, then topped off with Cole vomiting all over Chris Jericho's shoes. Who could forget his outlandish performance at the last Slammy's when he proclaimed the "slobberknocker" era over and the era of "vintage" just beginning. And how right he was as Cole seems to get more prominent as the weeks ensue.
Since 97 when Cole debuted (am I the only one who was under the impression he was Todd Pettengill's son?) he has been the constant target of wrestlers' natural aversion to twerps. And Cole played so well the role of being an annoying little punk just ripe for mockery and humiliation. And I'll be damned if he hasn't played it all off like a pro. And now in these watered-down, TV-PG, "oh my gosh" days in which we find ourselves, Cole can really shine. His hatred of Daniel Bryan Danielson since he started in NXT earlier this year has been nothing short of hilarious. He rags on Bryan for being a vegan, being a tool and not having any of the necessary charisma befitting of a world-class wrestler (which he really is btw). What just about killed me was on the newest season of NXT was when Cole brought a gong that he could hit whenever the show's content dipped below his standards. He did not hesitate to call out the substandard show. Most of the time, he wouldn't even maintain a sense of humor about; he genuinely sounded like he was disgusted with the show, which anyone watching at home surely was too. At one point, he finally had it with the show and went off on a tirade about his "journalistic integrity" being offended, as he was indeed a war correspondent (I really can't picture it), and that was enough for him to walk off the show and be replaced by CM Punk, wearing his ring garb and a suit jacket, looking mighty ridiculous. I think to many people's chagrin, Cole returned at the end, withstood the boos to be welcomed back with honor by Punk, who praised his announcing skills as legendary. If you look closely or if you were able to withstand the utter bullshit of the current NXT, there was some profound and telling moments here about the state of the business: the "entertainment" is just schlock they're shuffling around to fill in TV time on this pointless auxiliary show, real talent gets buried and misused on the proper shows, PPV's are an expensive letdown (plenty on that later on), but now I look forward to Michael fucking Cole's antics on every Monday and Friday.
But like I said, the business has most likely breached the point of no return. It'll never be the Attitude Era ever again. So many fans cry for a return to the old ways, not realizing that what made that time so great, was that it didn't follow tradition; Vince was constantly pushing the envelope for new and exciting storylines, that further distanced the WWF from wrestling's corny past. It worked back then, for there was so much freedom for them on television with none of the modern day scrutiny common in all athletics, namely to protect the children, because their parents are too busy. It's my opinion that Vince has been losing his mind for the past few years and has lost his logical perspective on how to create a solid wrestling show. The way the man has worked over the years must have eroded his reasoning. He's been responsible for a brand new Monday Night Raw every Monday since January 11, 1993, a new Smackdown every weeks since August 26, 1999, a new Pay-Per-View every month, and a host of so many other come-and-go programs like Superstars, Sunday Night Heat, Shotgun Saturday Night, the now defunct ECW, etc. That kind of insanely stressful schedule would wear down anyone's mind. Considering all that the company's been through, it'll never be the same, it'll never be Stone Cold and the Rock ever again. And I accept that, unlike most fans who think they want to see the same shit over and over again. Vince and his team, however, are convinced that they know how to make a sellable show, and don't really care what the fans think they want. This disparity allows for a crap show and a crap audience. Which brings me to my next point.
TNA is still trying to rehash old ECW, a company that went under almost a decade ago, in addition to keeping washed-up embarrassments like Hogan and Flair in the spotlight, people so desperate to not be forgotten, while all the talent in their prime takes a backseat to assholes like that. If anyone recalls, World Championship Wrestling, one of the biggest, most lucrative promotions of all time, collapsed primarily because of 3 people, whom I affectionately refer to as the Trifecta of Jagoffs: Hulk Hogan, Vince Russo, and Eric Bischoff. Who's running TNA now? Hogan, Bischoff, and Russo. Writing's all over the wall, yet they still are responsible for the lives and careers of so many. I can barely watch the show; I have friends with stronger stomachs who fill me on the spots nowadays. I always thank them for saving me the pain of sitting through Impact.
I've tried, I've really tried to like TNA over the years, and I just can't do it. First off, without a decent announce team, the talent is irrelevant. Mike Tenay and Don West? Really? The only positive thing I can say about that team is that at least Tony Schiavone isn't on it. But TNA in their infinite wisdom, brought in one of the absolute worst color-commentators in the business: Tazz. I will certainly never disrespect Tazz's legacy as a wrestler, one of the best. Tazz in mid-90's ECW was one of the meanest, most impressive guys out there. His suplexes were downright brutal as was his vicious chokehold that people in the ECW Arena would lose their minds for. Then came all the neck injuries, forcing him to retire to the announce table, a place where he unfortunately didn't belong, and a position he never quite adjusted to. He's terrible on TNA, like Tenay wasn't bad enough. And that's just the tip of the iceberg with this promotion, but others have gone on at length about the details of their sub-par programming. They did one smart thing, though, by firing Jim Cornette. I don't say that because I hate him, he's one of my all-time favorite personalities in the business and I truly believe he needs his own talk-show on national TV, but I digress. He's now in Ring of Honor, which I really hope will breakthrough to the mainstream without diluting their product, and I think with Mr. Cornette's genius as executive producer, there just might be a legitimate reason to think so.
Introduction
So called "professional sports" have never been interesting to me ("team spirit"), but pro-wrestling has intrigued me for as long as I can remember. I never cared about competition, I just wanted to watch something interesting, and to a young child who believed in the drama of the WWF, ECW and WCW, that fulfilled the desire.
I've been hearing it for as long as I can remember: "Wrestling is fake durrrr." Scripted, fixed, and choreographed, absolutely. To say it's fake is pointedly ignorant and offensive if I took it personally. I ask these same people, "Do you know the Simpsons are just drawings and not an actual family?" I'm well aware that the Undertaker isn't actually the living dead or that Sgt. Slaughter wasn't really a GI Joe and that they're not really punching each other (unless it's Terry Funk) and that the winner is known before the matches. The most shocking thing to learn about wrestling as a child, though, is that these guys don't really hate each other or want to do harm, it's just fictional conflict, like any novel or movie. That's all the show is really, just a theatrical play with the setting a wrestling league. But so many naysay and brush it off with these 3 idiotic words. Now I realize they feel the need to point out the obvious to quiet their own insecurities of being complete phonies or feel smarter by saying what everyone knows because it's "cool" somehow. It's called "using your imagination" as you do with any good story, you get lost in it and allow it to be real in your head. That's what makes it fun and interesting. How can you call what someone does "fake" when they spend 300 days a year in a ring pushing their physicality to the limit in precise motions integrated with various forms of bodily harm? Their business is filled with more blood, sweat, tears, broken bones, torn muscles, and concussions than you could imagine, coupled with the ever-growing list of dead wrestlers, a rate with far more frequency than "real sports". It seems it has far more to with real life than inane office jobs pushing buttons all day, people fighting their own humanity manifested in business attire and meaningless conversation in attempt to fulfill some sort of contrived social decorum.
That part needed to be defensive, just a blanket response to accumulated offensives mounted against my particular interest over the years. I'll give it to you: wrestling is fucking goofy. It's absurd, childish and melodramatic. At the same time it tells a great epic tale, one that is still being written today. It parallels ancient myth, replete with archetypal but imaginative and developed characters. By having the dynamic of two different worlds, the show that we all see and the hidden mechanics behind it all, profound stories can be told and extreme passions can erupt between performer and audience, what any worthwhile piece of performance art does. So enough of the past spite, my real attempt here is to approach professional wrestling with a more scholarly, objective, and historically/philosophically integrated viewpoint. This is a general overview of the business (as it's not technically a sport, but extremely athletic) as I see it. I have so many topics on my mind to be covered, ranging from wrestling's mythic parallels, the evolution of the business since I started actually watching it, the stylistic connection between hardcore wrestling and hardcore music scenes, the world of Japanese pro-wrestling (something I've been oddly obsessed with since I was 11 or 12), those who have ruined and who currently are ruining the business, and quite a few others. I imagine each topic will be it's own post; I'm a geek, I have a lot to say about nothing.
"They have to believe it." - James Cornette (will be quoting him a lot)
I've been hearing it for as long as I can remember: "Wrestling is fake durrrr." Scripted, fixed, and choreographed, absolutely. To say it's fake is pointedly ignorant and offensive if I took it personally. I ask these same people, "Do you know the Simpsons are just drawings and not an actual family?" I'm well aware that the Undertaker isn't actually the living dead or that Sgt. Slaughter wasn't really a GI Joe and that they're not really punching each other (unless it's Terry Funk) and that the winner is known before the matches. The most shocking thing to learn about wrestling as a child, though, is that these guys don't really hate each other or want to do harm, it's just fictional conflict, like any novel or movie. That's all the show is really, just a theatrical play with the setting a wrestling league. But so many naysay and brush it off with these 3 idiotic words. Now I realize they feel the need to point out the obvious to quiet their own insecurities of being complete phonies or feel smarter by saying what everyone knows because it's "cool" somehow. It's called "using your imagination" as you do with any good story, you get lost in it and allow it to be real in your head. That's what makes it fun and interesting. How can you call what someone does "fake" when they spend 300 days a year in a ring pushing their physicality to the limit in precise motions integrated with various forms of bodily harm? Their business is filled with more blood, sweat, tears, broken bones, torn muscles, and concussions than you could imagine, coupled with the ever-growing list of dead wrestlers, a rate with far more frequency than "real sports". It seems it has far more to with real life than inane office jobs pushing buttons all day, people fighting their own humanity manifested in business attire and meaningless conversation in attempt to fulfill some sort of contrived social decorum.
That part needed to be defensive, just a blanket response to accumulated offensives mounted against my particular interest over the years. I'll give it to you: wrestling is fucking goofy. It's absurd, childish and melodramatic. At the same time it tells a great epic tale, one that is still being written today. It parallels ancient myth, replete with archetypal but imaginative and developed characters. By having the dynamic of two different worlds, the show that we all see and the hidden mechanics behind it all, profound stories can be told and extreme passions can erupt between performer and audience, what any worthwhile piece of performance art does. So enough of the past spite, my real attempt here is to approach professional wrestling with a more scholarly, objective, and historically/philosophically integrated viewpoint. This is a general overview of the business (as it's not technically a sport, but extremely athletic) as I see it. I have so many topics on my mind to be covered, ranging from wrestling's mythic parallels, the evolution of the business since I started actually watching it, the stylistic connection between hardcore wrestling and hardcore music scenes, the world of Japanese pro-wrestling (something I've been oddly obsessed with since I was 11 or 12), those who have ruined and who currently are ruining the business, and quite a few others. I imagine each topic will be it's own post; I'm a geek, I have a lot to say about nothing.
"They have to believe it." - James Cornette (will be quoting him a lot)
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